Sorry that I've been away for so long but life calls and throws things your way that you have no choice but to react to. I've been doing well actually. I've been really happy lately, and getting very serious about my art. I quit smoking (again), quit drinking, started exercising more, and I rock-climb multiple times per week. I'm even trying to kick the caffeine and start eating more regulated meals. Trying at least...
I'm back to my old self really. I just got to the point that I want to do what I love everyday and nothing else. I'm at the age now where I'm tired of not arriving at where I'm going, but I'm also tired of worrying about it. Just living the 'now' is hard to do when comparing your life to others' around you; and their lives seem so much more well established than yours...but the desire to 'have' and 'want' bring me further from where I want to go and closer to where I've been. Lately I find solace in freestyling my life rather than meticulously planning out every minuscule detail and things not turning out according to plan. That's where disappointment sets in and I'm over that bandwagon.
I'm currently learned the arduous way that I need to push myself more. Since college I've had a tendency to give up when I start doubting myself. RIGHT after leaving the proverbial 'nest' funny enough. Fear of success I guess, or fear of self-establishment. I am an only child, so succeeding on my own is something strange to me with parents that are always there to stand you up when you fall. I'm not blaming them, I tend to do the same when Josh struggles. But even they've realized that they've helped me way too much over my dwindling young-adulthood. The major problem is, over the past few years I've had more of a tendency to fall and accept falling rather than try to change my life and climb instead. Ironically enough rock climbing has helped me tremendously with that. I have to trust myself a lot, and being afraid of heights puts a whole new level of yucktasticness to the challenge. Immersion-Therapy I'm told is what I'm doing to myself lol. Whatever it is, its working. I'm impressing myself quite a bit more lately. Its scary as hell to jump when you know there is an equal chance of failure as there is of success. But when you jump and don't fall, you get this crazy smirk on your face and a huge rush of endorphins knowing you did it. By yourself. Proving yourself wrong. You impressed yourself BECAUSE you didn't give up.
Living everyday impressing yourself is a VERY different lifestyle than living everyday being disappointed in yourself. I wish I would have understood this when I entered college. I've found that disappointment in ones' self leads to inactivity, proportionally to impressing yourself leading to the need to push boundaries and succeed.
On the note of success, I have been pushing my art in a new direction. By the grace of confidence I've defined a new style that I don't believe anybody out there has tried. Its all based upon the idea of life energy; how energy is always flowing in and out of form and consciousness. I choose line as my catalyst to achieve this. Contour more specifically. I choose this simply because it works and its something nobody else does. At least I've never seen it before.
As many of you know I've become very spiritual over the past year. NOT religious... spiritual. "Of the spirit" you could say. Without relying on opinions and teachings I find solace in the concept that energy flows in everything around us. I feel that energy exists in everything, every form, every particle, every atom, every molecule; even at the most basic cellular level life exists. There are many Laws of the Universe. There is a cosmic flow to everythings' relationship to everything else, and I strive to portray that flow in my art.
I listen to a lot of music when I create said art, and I'm a firm believer in waveforms and frequency in everything. We have brain frequencies, sound-waves, light-waves/particles, etc. Everything around us operates on the idea of a plethora of frequencies surrounding us at all times. I've come to notice that my art takes certain shapes/forms different from others depending upon the type of music I'm listening to when doing a composition. My art when listening to Deftones is very different than that of a composition while hearing Skrillex, Emancipator, or Talib Kweli. Makes sense right? Well the only problem this brings is that my compositions most of the time take weeks to complete. I rarely listen to the same genre of music for an entire morning let alone three weeks. So I'm seeing variations in certain compositions that almost don't make sense compared to the rest of the piece and I truly believe it has to do with my mood and the music that I'm listening to at certain points within the composition's creation.
I'm still developing it, but I believe I have a new style that nobody else has attempted. It changes almost daily as I find new strokes and patterns I like. I'm hitting it hard again, and I will be continuing to blog and update my art as I complete it. I have a style that can be used on really anything you could imagine. There is life in everything, we just don't think about it on the regular. I just hope to bring that life out in everything I put a pen or brush to.
I call it Metalectrophysicali.
I hope you enjoy.
0 comments:
Post a Comment